I wake up excited for a new week, then get excited for the weekend, closer to things I want with a little patience and closer to goals that I want to acquire.
I love going to school, it makes me nervous sometimes, but I always have fun, I meet cool people and come to respect and admire.
I love going to work, I hang out with friends that are needy but the rush of getting things done, I don’t know why, I’m so weird but I have this sense of accomplishment just to get it done, while some people just get alll butt head laziness, (no offense on the laziness cuz I still love you haha) but I looking at the time and wanting to get it done! I’m happy I have a job that I enjoy, it has it’s moment but I enjoy what I do.
I go home to an amazing boyfriend, who makes me feel loved, excited, who can just make me laugh even when there are no words shared… the boyfriend makes my heart happy… o.O hahaha (it’s that stupid stare) hahaha… I love him :)
Soon an addition to my life that I’m looking forward to, a cute little puppy that I just fell in love with right away when he was handed to me into my arms… I couldn’t leave. I had to get him and no one else shall have him. I’m very impulsive when I want something… Very excited for the new baby!! :)
What scares me, is being happy only means that around the corner, I’m about to fall… I’ve always been scared that something or someone is going to take away my happiness so I was never able to be really happy all the time… so I get insecure and selfish and the memories of the past and my scared instincts of just wanting to be alone so I make stupid excuses to get away because I only know how to be by myself, I’m comfortable being by myself because you rely on yourself and no one else to keep you happy because people were only temporary there, so for the longest time I’ve always done whatever I wanted to do to protect myself but when in real honesty I was only hurting myself, robbing myself of any real happiness. But my views has changed, people who inspire me to really land on my feet and keep punching for what I want.
All these things that I’m slowly acquiring is my will to keep going but I wouldn’t have gotten this way if I didn’t pray…. I prayed for answers…. I prayed… & I thank god every day because I’m really happy…it scares me that I’m this happy but I am so happy and I want to be happy and I love working hard for this happiness. :*)